"Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil."Now," she announced in...a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Phil."The entire congregation. Is that the new replacement for 'What's your sign?'" It does have a certain symmetry, doesn't it?" I suppose..." she trailed off and stopped."My name is James, James Bond, and I would love to buy you a drink." Thank you, but I'm currently fine with this iced tea." And what are you studying so intently." Maps, local blogs, news." You're a journalist?"She laughed in a melodic and very alluring feminine way. "God no! I've dated journalists and they're complete boors! Are you one?"James smiled,. But then there's the days that you can't, like after you've had the absolute shit kicked out of you by a two-hundred pound, mother-fucking baboon.Not that I'm comparing Scott to a primate mind you, cause I actually think that would be a step up the evolutionary ladder for him, but as I had recently been made aware of, the mother-fucking part of my little analogy is entirely correct.Frankly I should consider myself lucky that I didn't end up in the hospital's emergency room downtown, but I. I asked Ron if he wanted to go."We don't have enough money man!" Who says we need money?", I replied. I looked at me and started to catch on to what I was talking about. We drove up to the lot and parked the car. We walked up to the pay area. "So who's gonna be our lucky contestants for this evening?", I said looking around at all the bodies to choose from. Suddenly someone walked right into me. I turned to see who it was. It was a really cute girl with long blonde hair, blue snowcap, and.
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